khaihiok's blog

去年到德國、瑞士一遊，
回台灣後最深的衝擊是：「台灣怎麼這麼醜？」

台灣的房子醜，
別墅、豪宅、商業大樓，或一些有設計感的房子除外，
在台灣最常見的，便是像火柴盒般簡單的房子，
有些會稍微修飾一下門面，但通常只顧前面、忽略後面，
從側面看，便會看到只有一半的屋頂，
屋頂上通常大剌剌的放著水塔，或是養狗、養鴿子、曬衣服，
不然就是加蓋鐵皮、堆放雜物，
反正在屋頂，看到的時間不多，
反正大家都這樣，反正不礙到人、不違法。

屋頂之外，更刺眼的是鐵窗，
由於治安的關係，不裝鐵窗不能安心，
鐵窗外突的部分，又可放些雜物、曬衣服，
也有人放盆栽，但真正好看的實在不多。

如果是店家，免不了還要加個大大的招牌，
不能太小，不能輸隔壁的，
大家車拼的結果，使街景雜亂無章。

鄉下也沒好到哪裡去，
三合院剩的不多了，也是以方塊盒為主，
更糟的，是散落田間的鐵皮屋，
鐵皮屋建材便宜、簡單省事。

醜沒有關係，方便就好，
醜沒有關係，有省到錢就好，
醜沒有關係，能增加空間利用就好。


但其實，只需多點用心、少點貪心，
美麗，便躍然眼前。

美麗或許不是必須，
但美麗的環境和建築，能讓人的心跟著美麗。

(Originally uploaded by Allie's.Dad)

我們通常知道入口，不知道出口，
我們進去，卻不懂得出來。

一件事、一種想法、一個觀念、一套價值觀，
我們進去後，通常就安居又安心，
不肯出來、不願面對改變、不願承認還有其他可能性。

有時，我們的卻步只是自我設限，
有時，卻會傷害較自己弱勢的一方。
強勢的，也不一定安全。

知道自己在進入、曾經進入，才有脫身的可能性。
最怕的不是出不來，而是不願出來。
進去的起始點，也是出來的起始點。
進入只是單向，出來後才能看清方向。

(Image from Wikipedia)

Most people are fond of innovation,
and innovation usually attracts more attention.

But we can't merely seek for innovation
without learning the tradition first.

Duchamp's urinal can be a Fountain,
while our urinals are only vessels of urine.

Only based on tradition can innovation be tenable.
Only based on tradition can innovation stride forward.

From The Yellow Wallpaper and Gilman’s experiences, it is not difficult to find out the parallel between Gilman and the narrator, and the narrator and the woman behind the wallpaper. In other nonfiction works, Gilman expresses that she suffers from depression and is once treated by Silas Weir Mitchell, also a character in the story. His “rest cure” almost destroys Gilman’s life and she abandons the rules of no working and no writing to heal herself from the torturing cure. This work is one of Gilman’s efforts to expose the gravity of improper treatment and to save more women like her, not only the mental disease but also the depressed female role in both family and society.

Back to the text itself, a confined, inferior female role in marriage is the main theme of The Yellow Wallpaper. In Gilman’s time, late nineteenth century and early twentieth century, women are asked and forced to subject to men. Women are responsible to domestic chores and forbidden to be too intellectual. Gilman subtly expresses her ideas by combining a sick woman who has a doctor husband and the woman barred by the pattern of the wallpaper. Perhaps there is no woman behind the wallpaper at all but just a symbol of the plight of the narrator. The narrator is imprisoned in the nursery with barred windows just as the woman behind is caged by the patterns. Both the bars and the patterns represent patriarchal authority of men. Before being destroyed, the narrator has to destroy the wallpaper to unshackle herself from all those repression and assumption to women. This is the cure the narrator really need.

Though this work is somewhat comical, the title, “Revelation,” reveals its religious connotation. I’ve paid attention to religious clues, but it is after the second reading that I discover and understand more. Why is “the girl” throwing the book, Human Development, at Mrs. Turpin? What does “Go back to hell where you came from, you old wart dog” mean? What revelation does Flannery O’Connor wants to express?

忽視體外蒸氣的悶熱，
問自己：「我的夢想何時沸騰？」

After reading, the seven colored chambers are most impressive to me. Seven colors, black velvet, and the Red Death all attract my attention of Edgar Allan Poe’s allegorical meanings of colors. The chambers are in a sequence like a rainbow and the black one is added, and in the west; therefore, we could know that from the east to the west is from the red to the black. The directions and the colors of these chambers, actually, symbolize the life stages of people that from red to black is like from birth to death just as the sun orbits from east to west (to people on the Earth). As the sun rises in the east and is covered by night in the west, Princes Prospero’s pursuing the Red Death leads himself to the deadly black chamber, the room of death, which he wants to exclude.

First I have to say, this is a beautiful story. The expressions, the emotions of the family, the untold complex feelings between the narrator, her mother and the twins—all contribute to the beauty of A Pair of Tickets. Beyond beauty, Amy Tan depicts essential issues under the oil paint: the identity of the emigrants and the love among family members.

The plot is clear, the characters are not many, but the title is implied. When I was reading the part I, I didn’t expect a sexual storm. But the ways Kate Chopin describes and the appearance of Alcée indicate that there is going to be another storm. I thought Alcée will destroy the happiness of Calixta, but, as the story goes, the storm between Calixta and Alcée becomes apparent and finally burst out at the end of part II. I had been waiting for Bobinôt’s uncovering what had happened during the storm, but there is not. The “one-storm stand” is not discovered and does not cause serious consequences, say, Calixta and Bobinôt divorce. “So the storm passed and everyone was happy.” This is not a normal concluding sentence in fiction that it ends as an explicit summary of the all. I wonder the reasons until I notice the contexts and backgrounds of Chopin.

你說你想卸掉臉上的繁複，
但又怕卸妝後無臉見人，
因為素顏的你在他人面前感到不自在，
就連肌肉的抽動都被窺視，
抓不定嘴角上揚的幅度。

於是你習慣性地上妝，
阻隔毛孔呼吸自由空氣的權利。
妝，成了你在這個社會呼吸的工具。

我說：「你還記得你還未學會化妝前的自己嗎？」
「當然記得！但我回不去了。」

一旦抹上，是很難卸掉的，
它從毛孔滲透到神經系統。

你若有勇氣，直接拿掉就好了，
就像拿掉面具般輕鬆。

但，我也沒那勇氣。

Attainable goals, not dreams,
Keep boating in the cruel streams